Do You Need to Learn to Love Yourself?

Do You Need to Learn to Love Yourself?

What is one thing you would love to change about yourself, but you’re stuck with it? 

“I wish I were taller.” 

“I hate my laugh. I want a different laugh!”

“I can’t stand the way I sneeze! I practically wake the dead.” 

I wish I had different parents.”  

“I wish I had been born in a different time.” 

As believers in Jesus, we understand that God made us. We aren’t here simply because of natural forces—we were handcrafted by a God who works in beauty, strength, and peace. 

But we don’t always consider how the truth of our creation operates in everyday life. Many of us look at how we were made and find fault with it.  

“This is not good enough. This is not what I want. It was wrong of God to make me like this. What He gave me is BAD! If I were different, or if a few of my details were different, I would be better off.” 

When we feel like God made a mistake with us, we become unable to trust Him in that area. We start leaning on human wisdom instead of His wisdom regarding the “problem,” and—worse—we become unable to see what He sees when He looks at us. 

The Fruit of Self-Rejection 

Loving who you are is an important part of heart healing. There is nothing wrong with wishing for better circumstances or wanting to change your life in some way. Diet, exercise, going to school, increasing your skillset—all these things can be positive points of transformation. Things we do with God. 

But we open ourselves up to deception and additional pain when we look at how God made us and disagree with what He did. 

“This is not good enough, God. You made a mistake with me. I shouldn’t have been born into this family. I shouldn’t have this personality. I shouldn’t look this way. I should have been different.” 

This “disagreement” with God can affect us in some surprising ways: 

• Do you have a hard time accepting who you are in Jesus? “God speaks really well of me, but I can’t speak well of myself.”  
• Do you feel like you are constantly arguing against how the Bible describes you as a child of God? “I am broken, not holy. I am not a conqueror; the enemy is too strong for me.” 
• When you think about your destiny and the reason you’re here on earth, do you feel sick at heart?
• Do you find yourself wishing your life were over? 
• Is it easy for you to be yourself? Do you feel like you’re constantly trying to “find yourself”? 
• Do you have difficulty relating to others?  
• Do you feel unworthy to step into what God has for you?  
• Do you struggle with dyslexia?  
• Do you have poor coordination? Is it hard for you to play physical games like catch and dodge ball? 
• Are you what the world calls “accident prone”? 

Obviously, disliking who we are is not the only reason we might struggle with different things on this list—there can be other sources. But whenever we look at how God made us and say, “You made a mistake when You did this,” it becomes hard for us to thrive the way He intended. 

A Prayer for Healing 

If you recognize that you struggle to love how God made you, here is a prayer of repentance and a simple request for His beautiful abundant life: 

Lord, I acknowledge that I have not fully chosen the life You crafted for me. I have not understood and appreciated how You formed me. Certain things about who I am, my family, and my story have made me angry, and I have thought You could have chosen better for me. I have judged my family for their lack of sensitivity toward my needs, and I have judged You for creating me “deficient” in certain ways. Please forgive me for how I turned away from Your choices for me. I know I have wounded You by not receiving Your gift of family and life. Today I choose by faith to accept myself and the life You have given me. I choose to see myself as a blessing to You and other people. I want to see myself the way You do, because You think You did a great work when You made me. Lead me into the joy of my birthright—the blessing of my inheritance in You. 

The fruit of being healed in this area is life. You will be able to move toward life. You will be able to enjoy your life more and relax more in your relationship with the Lord. You will be able to have better relationships with the people around you and fulfill God’s purpose for you—this beautiful thing He made just for you that is a perfect fit for your heart.  

To read more about this topic, check out the following resources from Elijah House: 

• Grassroots Gratitude: A Journey Toward Real Inner Healing 

• Restoring the Christian Family: A Biblical Guide to Love, Marriage, and Parenting in a Changing World

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