Fathering the Heart: How a Father’s Blessing Awakens Honor

A Keepsake Reflection for Father’s Day
By Michael Desgrosseilliers

“And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers.” Malachi 4:6 (ESV)

Father’s Day gives us a meaningful moment to show gratitude and love to our dads. But in the kingdom of God, honor isn’t something that can be demanded. It flows naturally; when a father’s heart turns toward his children in love, their hearts respond with honor.

The Fifth Commandment, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12), remains a foundational principle for healthy families and societies. It’s the first commandment with a promise. God values honor deeply, and He entrusts fathers with the responsibility of starting that cycle. When a father blesses, cherishes, and calls out the good in his children, something beautiful is set in motion. Children begin to honor their father, not out of pressure, but because their hearts have been tenderly awakened.

Malachi 4:6 shows us the pattern: fathers go first. When a father chooses to bless his children, to see them through God’s eyes, and to speak life and purpose over them, something shifts. Their hearts begin to turn back. Their desire to honor rises not from duty, but from love.

When my daughter turned sixteen, I asked the Lord how He saw her and wrote out a blessing. I spoke of her beauty, her strength, her kindness and perseverance, and the purpose I saw forming in her life. As I read it aloud, she received it deeply. That moment didn’t just bless her, it awakened something in her. It helped her see who she truly is.

Since then, I’ve made it a practice to bless everyone I counsel in the same way. And every time, it’s powerful. Why? Because a blessing isn’t just encouragement, it’s a form of honor. When we speak blessing, we help call people into the identity God placed in them from the beginning.

At Elijah House, we teach that identity isn’t something children figure out on their own. It’s something they receive. And in God’s design, fathers are meant to speak that identity first. That’s why Father’s Day isn’t just a time for children to honor their dads, it’s also a reminder that the invitation to honor begins with us.

We believe God invites every father into three key expressions of love:

· See the child rightly, with spiritual eyes

· Speak identity and purpose in love

· Bless the design of God in the child’s heart

If you’re a son or daughter reading this, know that honor matters. A small word of thanks or a simple act of kindness carries weight. And if your father has blessed you, if he’s turned his heart toward you and spoken life into you, you carry something precious. You carry the ability to give back the very thing that honors him most: your heart.

A Sample Blessing:
“[Child’s name], I bless who God made you to be. I see strength in you, wisdom in your mind, and kindness in your heart. You were created for purpose, and I bless your path with courage, peace, and joy. I am proud of you. I love you.”

Fathers, don’t wait for honor...sow it. Speak life, and watch how honor grows in return.

And sons and daughters, if your father has blessed you, take time to share what it meant to you.

Even if your father was absent, silent, or caused pain, ask God to show you one thing you can honor, maybe a single sacrifice, an act of provision, or simply the gift of life itself. Honor given in grace can become the first seed of healing.

This is how hearts begin to turn. This is how the generations find one another again.

This is the Father’s heart at work among us.

Recommended Resources:
If this article stirred something in your heart, we encourage you to explore Restoring the Christian Family by John and Paula Sandford. This foundational book unpacks how God’s design for family can be reclaimed through healing, forgiveness, and restored honor between generations. It’s a powerful companion for anyone longing to see their family renewed in God’s love.

Also, for fathers and families who long to break free from old patterns and live from a place of blessing and purpose, God’s Power to Change by John and Paula Sandford offers a path forward. This foundational book explores how true transformation happens when God heals us at the heart level.