What Forgiveness Really Means

Forgiveness is at the very heart of the gospel. It is central to our relationship with God and our relationships with one another. Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). He went on to say, “If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:15 NAS). Those are sobering words.

Why would Jesus speak with such seriousness about forgiveness? Because He knows what unforgiveness does to the human heart. When we cling to resentment, bitterness begins to grow. Like hidden roots under the soil, bitterness can spread silently but powerfully. Hebrews 12:15 warns us: “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (NAS). Bitterness does not just harm the person we withhold forgiveness from, it harms us, and often those around us.

At Elijah House, we often describe forgiveness as a doorway to healing. But walking through that doorway is not always simple. Forgiveness involves more than saying the words, “I forgive you.” It is a deliberate choice to release someone from the debt we feel they owe us. It is surrendering our right to judge, our desire for repayment, and even our longing to “make them understand.” Forgiveness entrusts those things into God’s hands, trusting Him as the only true and righteous Judge. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Never take your own revenge…for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

The deeper work of forgiveness asks us to face the pain honestly. Forgiveness is not pretending that what happened didn’t hurt, nor is it excusing the wrong. Instead, it is naming the wound for what it is and then choosing to lay it at the foot of the cross. Only in surrendering it can we be released from its grip.

This is not something we can accomplish in our own strength. Forgiveness is made possible by Jesus Himself. From the cross, as He endured betrayal and suffering, He prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NAS). He not only showed us what forgiveness looks like, He made a way for us to forgive through His Spirit. The same power that raised Christ from the dead is the power that enables us to release others from their debt.

When we forgive, something remarkable happens: we are set free. We are no longer chained to the wound or to the person who caused it. The weight of judgment is lifted, and in its place God brings peace. Jesus promised, “So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36 NAS).

Forgiveness is sometimes a process. We may need to come back to God again and again with the same wound, surrendering it each time until His peace takes root where bitterness once lived. But every step toward forgiveness is a step into greater freedom.

Forgiveness is not the end of healing, it is the beginning. As we forgive, God restores the places in us that were broken. He turns pain into testimony, bitterness into blessing, and wounds into places of His presence. This is the deeper work: not only releasing others, but allowing God’s love to transform our hearts from the inside out.

Recommended Resource
If you’d like to go further, we suggest As We Forgive Those: How to Forgive Others, Ourselves and God. This book offers biblical teaching and practical wisdom for navigating forgiveness in even the hardest situations.