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Why Allowing Yourself to FEEL Is Important 



In today’s world, expressing emotions can be thought of as weakness. So there is a tendency to shut down and stuff down what we’re feeling and deny ourselves, and others, the freedom to be vulnerable. 

Yet isn’t it being human to allow the tears? We can acknowledge what we’re feeling and say, “This is bad, and it is very painful right now. I feel awful over some of the things I’m witnessing at this present time.” 

But some of us have trouble expressing ourselves this way, and we might have been told it is not okay. Some of us have been conditioned to ignore and push aside (what we believe to be) negative emotions and pretend they are not there. We don’t realize that emotional expression is part of our humanness, and it is honoring to our heart to feel and deal with issues that arise.

As I have taught on becoming who we really are and honoring the heart by allowing feelings in a healthy way, I cannot tell you how many people have said to me, “You mean it’s okay to have feelings?” 

Yes! It is okay to have feelings! It is how we respond to the feelings that makes a difference. Learning how to delve into the underlying issues and dealing with them in a godly way brings tremendous relief to us, and it helps us connect more deeply with God because we are being real

God made you a human being, and human beings have feelings. Jesus Himself had feelings and expressed His humanity by showing emotion, compassion, love, sorrow, and indignation.

It is okay to feel these things and express them.

“I feel like my heart is breaking.”

“I’m having trouble hanging on to my hope.”

“This is making me so angry.” 

If we try not to feel, and we shove these emotions down, we can find ourselves reaching for ways to numb the pain and shame. One such way is false refuges—things we go to for protection or comfort instead of going to the Lord.

Exploratory Surgery With the Holy Spirit

“Just give it to God!” 

“Have faith.” 

“Just renew your mind with the Word!” 

When someone is in pain, they do not need a pat answer—some quick response that tries to fix everything. 

How many times have well-meaning people said, “Give it to God!” and inadvertently further deadened somebody’s soul? Honestly, sometimes “Give it to God” does not work. Not because giving Him things is a bad idea, but because many of us have learned not to feel. We shove down the pain, put on our big-girl or big-boy pants, and just get through the day. But this does not allow us to heal. 

Similarly, telling someone, “Just renew your mind!” can be a pat answer that does not help the person receive the healing they need. 

“But I am having trouble renewing my mind. It is not working. The things I am seeing don’t line up with what the Scriptures say—and they don’t line up with what you are telling me to do either. So what do I do now? I am still in pain.” 

We need to learn how to be vulnerable in a safe place, with safe people, where we can acknowledge what we are feeling and get the healing we need—instead of placating ourselves or trying to “suck it up,” as people say. 

As you listen to the Holy Spirit and do some “exploratory surgery” with Him, the healing process can start. Ask Him for guidance and help. Express yourself and ask, “What is going on within my heart?” 

That is the key, because healing is found as you work on the roots. Ask questions that draw out the roots so they do not fester inside you and get infected. “What am I trying not to feel? What am I afraid to feel? Why is it there?” 

If we can learn how to do this, we won’t turn to numbing techniques or the use of false refuges that are defiling and make matters worse. 

The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit always change people from the inside out. It is not an outward action, although there will be outward signs of transformation as things progress. Yes, there are behavior modification programs and various kinds of counseling, and sometimes these can be helpful—but God changes the heart. He gets to the root of issues, and with His cleansing and healing power, He reveals what is concealed. 

We do not need to stuff down our feelings and try to ignore them. We need to listen to the Spirit of God and let Him change our heart. 

Learning to Be Real 

These days, all of us need to learn how to be real—to be who we are and no one else. This includes being real with our emotions. 

“It is okay to have these feelings. It is okay for me to be afraid. It is okay for me to be angry at what I am seeing—but I am not going to allow these emotions to immobilize me.” 

We are body, soul, and spirit, and the vitality of each part is essential to living a bountiful, joyful life in union with Christ. If we try to ignore our emotions, we are ignoring part of our soul. 

The next time you are feeling something deeply, connect with God, Spirit to spirit, and ask the Holy Spirit, “What am I feeling? How do I want to respond to this feeling? How do You want me to respond?” 

As you allow yourself to feel and deal, the true essence of who you really are will be uncovered, and—subsequently—you will learn to embrace who God made you to be, not what has been done to you. You will grow more confident in a world that is trying to steal your personhood, your identity, and your purpose. 

You will get to know yourself, the real you, in the light of God’s love, power, and acceptance. Remember—He chose you! You are worth knowing. 

For more information on this topic, visit Joanne Behl’s website, 

A Note From Elijah House: If you need help processing your pain, prayer ministry might be for you! Click here to learn more.

Sale Off
Transforming the Inner Man


I have some exciting news—and it really is exciting because I can sense the weight of the Lord on it. It is like Elijah House can finally rest, now that the following change has been made.

Bill and Sue Frisbie are now the Spiritual Directors of Elijah House. 

Bill and Sue have been married for nearly 50 years and have six sons and 16 grandchildren. They’re veterans in prophetic ministry and have served with a number of international ministers including Mike Bickle, John Paul Jackson, and—of course—John and Paula Sandford.

Bill and Sue have a long history with EH. They were the Training Directors for four years, and they’ve been advising the board since early 2019. They love prayer ministry and have a passion for Elijah House. 

As the Spiritual Directors, Bill and Sue carry the anointing to see the future of Elijah House and know where we are going as a ministry. This anointing is obvious on them. What is also obvious is their partnership in life. They are two halves of a whole, and we felt like the Lord wanted them to share the position of Spiritual Director. 

Let me tell you—when people are set in their rightful place, that’s when the peace of God comes and the ball can start rolling. I think we’re about to see Elijah House thrive in some amazing ways.


Director of Operations

Elijah House USA - We're Buying  A Building
healing family



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