Struggling With Fear? Learn to Ask Your Heart Questions
by Sue Frisbie, Elijah House Spiritual Director
The other day, I overheard our son coaxing our little granddaughter not to be
“It’s okay to be scared,” he said, “but it can’t stop you from doing the thing you
need to do.”
As I listened to him, I thought, That’s a real solid place to stand.
Everyone deals with fear at one level or another. There WILL be times when you
But that fear should not stop you from doing whatever it is you know you need to
What’s Missing, Not What’s Wrong
If you are someone who struggles with fear, don’t feel ashamed or condemned.
You’re among friends.
Your recognition of fear in your heart means the Holy Spirit is already at work to
help you get over that fear. Your awareness that something needs to change is a
sign that He’s come alongside you and is showing you what’s going on—and,
beautifully, what He wants to address inside you.
Graham Cooke says that when God looks at us, He doesn’t see what’s wrong.
He sees only what’s missing. When I heard those words, they stuck to my heart
like glue. Not what’s wrong—what’s missing.
Once the Holy Spirit starts this work of breaking us free from fear, He comes
near to supply what’s missing. There is such hope in this process because He
will finish the good work He began in us to uproot the fear.
So I say to my soul,
“Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be disturbed.
For I know my God will break through for me.”
Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again.
Yes, living before his face is my saving grace! (Ps. 42:11)
Figure Out WHY You’re Afraid
The next time you’re afraid, listen to the Holy Spirit and ask your heart questions.
“What is it in me that’s afraid? What is the fear saying?”
If the fear could talk, what would it tell you?
Sometimes the fear might say, “This is too big! It’s too scary!” Or “I can’t do this!”
Or “The Lord won’t come to my aid and help me!”
When you have some clue about the fear’s source, ask the Lord WHY your heart
believes those things.
You might find yourself remembering something—an event in your past that
“planted” fear in your heart because you had no control. Or maybe something
painful happened when you were a child, and in the moment, it seemed to your
young heart that God forgot all about you.
The Elijah House teachings are key in pinpointing the birthplace of lies, vows,
and judgments, so you can give these things to Jesus and find total, wondrous
freedom through everything He did for you on the cross.
Unpack the things the Lord reveals to you, and journal about them. Take all
these things to Him in prayer, and practice thankfulness in the process—because
God is with you and He is already helping you.
When You’re Afraid, Choose Trust
But in the day that I’m afraid, I lay all my fears before you
and trust in you with all my heart. (Ps. 56:3 TPT)
Fear is not from the Lord. It is a signature of the enemy, yet God is very used to
His kids being afraid. We know this because His Word says, “What time I am
afraid, I will trust in You.”
All of us can expect to go through times of fear, but when those times
happen—when we feel swamped by anxiety, what-if questions, or dread of the
unknown—we can take a deep breath and know what the Lord is saying, even if
we can’t “feel Him” in the moment.
When we’re afraid, He is saying, “Choose to trust Me right now in your fear.”
That’s it. Fear is a strong emotion, but choosing to trust the Lord when you’re
afraid is more powerful than fear, and it has long-lasting benefits.
When you recognize you’re afraid, you can make bold, solid statements about
what you’re going to do next:
“Father, I will trust You even though I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“God, I KNOW You’ve called me to do this thing, so I am going to take this next
“I know You’re with me. This fear cannot stop me, and it cannot stop You.”
Be bold today, and even if you feel afraid, choose to trust the Fearless One with
all your heart. He will help you see why your heart struggles in this area or with
this certain fear, and as you trust Him, He will lead you into freedom.