All I ever wanted was to be a wife and mom, and for a time I got my dream. 


But as you know, life comes with twists and turns, and one of those twists happened just a few days after my husband and I gave our lives to the Lord—he was diagnosed with cancer. 


We had a child in grade school, a child in high school, and a child in college. We were brand-new Christians, but we found ourselves in a place where we had to ask the tough questions: “Who are You, God? Why did You do this?” 


Our hearts raged. We didn’t understand.


Asking Questions Isn’t Sin


When life doesn’t go the way we expect, we begin to question God, asking who He is and who we are. We can’t be ashamed of these questions because they are some of the most important lessons we can learn.

My husband passed away the day the doctor told us he was going to be fine. He threw a blood clot, and that was the end of his seven-year battle with cancer. 


Suddenly I was a single mom, and questions burned in my heart: “Do I trust God? Or do I turn away?” 


Twenty-five years later, there are still parts of my heart that question. But this is what I’ve discovered—in the questioning, we come to know who God really is. 


He’s Good, No Matter What


I once heard someone say, “Faith is spelled T-R-U-S-T.” 


When life twists, God asks, “Will you trust Me? You may not understand. I know this is not the life you ordered. But will you trust Me? I have good plans and good purposes for you.” 


Those plans exist even in the face of loss. God is good all the time, no matter what. He hates sin and sickness, and He sent His Son to break the power of those things. 


When the air is cloudy and we cannot see, all we need to do is trust Him.


God Knows What You Need


God is the Provider who delights in giving us everything we need. He’s the good Shepherd. Even when we are furious with Him, He invites us to draw close and bring Him our pain.


Journal. Talk to Him. Go talk to a friend—find someone who will listen, care about you, and not insist you be done with the pain. 


You have a Father who loves you. He knows what you need, and He will faithfully provide it. 


Rely on the Body of Christ


How do we do life single? Alone, but not really alone? 


God created us to be a family. When we’re trying to cope with sudden loss, when we can barely keep our head above water, family is what we need—others who will come alongside us, hear our stories, lift us up, and encourage us. 


God put us in a family so we can help take care of each other. Even if it feels like we’re alone in our grief, God has brought—or will bring—family into our lives to hold us up when we need it. 


The Hope of His Goodness


Jesus has carried me through so many sorrows over the years. As I continually held on to Him, this is what got me through: the hope of His goodness toward us, His provision for us, His taking care of us.  


Whatever you are facing today, He has a blessing, a future, and a hope for you (Jer. 29:11). 


Hang on, and reach out to us here at Elijah House if you need to.

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1 comment

  • Hello Thea, thank you for sharing your grief and story: we don’t always understand God’s ways, but one thing I have learned that God is love, He does not put sickness on us, all sickness comes from the our enemy the (devil) he stole your husband away, for our enemy the (devil) he is a thief:
    John ch10: 10-11; THE THIEF DOES NOT COME EXCEPT TO STEAL, AND TO KILL, AND TO DESTROY, I HAVE COME THAT THEY MAY HAVE LIFE, AND THAT THEY MAY HAVE IT MORE ABUNDANTLY.
    “I AM THE GOOD SHEPHERD. THE GOOD SHEPHERD GIVES HIS LIFE FOR THE SHEEP.
    The thief the devil, stole my two children off me, working through my ex-husband, it happened over 47 years ago: I did not understand at the time what was happening to me, I got divorced and the BATTLE for the children began, I was not a CHRISTIAN then, that happened in 1973. God drew me to himself, He called my name out in my bedroom, I was in bed with a frozen shoulder, He called my name three times, that was about 1977-78. That prompted me to seek out a church?
    Mine is a long story: I did get Born-Again, on September, 1978. God has worked miracles in my life:

    HE SAID, PUT ME FIRST IN YOUR LIFE, AND I WILL BRING YOUR CHILDREN BACK TO YOU, LIKE NO MAN CAN EVER DO, GIVE YOUR CHILDREN TO ME, AS A LIVING SACRIFICE, LIKE ABRAHAM DID WITH ISAAC, DON’T PUT YOUR CHILDREN BEFORE ME, IF YOU DON’T YOU WILL NEVER GET THEM BACK: CONSIDER VERY CAREFULLY. I started my walk with God, it was one step at a time, I was full of anger and grief, my ex. stopped me from seeing my children for 5 years, God told me to stop all court cases, and to write to them: in more of nut shell: God was faithful, He did bring them back to me, He is still working in our relationships to bring healing in me and my two children: my ex-husband, passed away approx 3 years ago. I am keeping my eyes on JESUS, He means everything to me, I would not be alive now, if it was not for JESUS. PUT YOUR TRUST IN HIM ALONE. HE IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE , the devil is the father of lies. I TRUST JESUS WITH ALL MY HEART, HE IS FULL OF MERCY AND TRUTH AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US OR FORSAKE US. HE IS MY STRENGTH, HE IS MY PROVIDER, HE IS MY BELOVED SHEPHERD WHO GAVE HIS LIFE FOR MY SINS. PUT YOUR TRUST IN JESUS.

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