by Sue Frisbie, Elijah House Spiritual Advisor
One of the most important things we can do as parents, even when our baby is still in the womb, is work on our devotional life. When we spend time with God, the impact carries over to more than just ourselves. As parents, our devotional life has a family impact.
Before our child is born, we can let their little spirit know there is a special place for them and that we are excited they are here. One aspect of this welcoming is preparing the atmosphere of our home for the little one’s arrival. This can look like different things, but our devotional life plays a significant role: hosting the presence of the Lord, worshipping Him, being quiet before Him, reading His Word, praying, etc.
Preparing the atmosphere is one way we shield our child from the very beginning, when they first come into existence in the womb. Then, after they are born, we do what we can to protect the Holy Spirit’s presence in our home and maintain in our heart the sense of love and welcoming, letting our child know they will be understood and heard, no matter what. All of this goes toward preparing our child for success.
As parents, our devotional life has a profound influence on our child’s wellbeing. Some of us struggle to spend time with God, but as we realize what it means for our kids, it becomes a little easier.
How They See Father God
Take to heart these words that I give you today. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you’re at home or away, when you lie down or get up. (Deut. 6:6–7 NOG)
How we treat our children is how they will see God one day. If we are kind to them, they will know He is kind. If we are patient and accepting even when they make mistakes, they will know He is patient and that they are fully accepted even when they fail.
As we let them see they are deeply loved, this awareness transfers to their understanding of God. “My mommy and daddy love me, so I know He loves me too. There is no reason for me to be afraid.”
The Healing Journey
Some parents hear the phrase “spending time with God” or “devotional life” and instantly begin to feel discouraged.
“I’m doing everything I can. I can’t add anything to the load I’m already carrying.”
These parents feel like they are failing, so talking about spending time with Him can stir up latent emotions like shame, frustration, not being good enough, false guilt, remorse, etc. Those negative emotions are things we can be healed from. We picked them up somewhere in the past, and God wants to set us free.
The enemy and the world will always try to pull us down as parents. Sometimes the world’s influence is unintentional, but it still happens because parenthood is widely undervalued. We can find ourselves repeating what the world says because of the shame we carry: “I’m just not good at this. I’m never going to measure up or be the mom/dad my kids need me to be.”
Instead of agreeing with other voices, we need to get who we are from God, which we do by spending time with Him: having an active devotional life, pressing into Him, following the Holy Spirit’s leading about where we need to be healed, finding out who we are, etc.
If we get our feedback from the world, ourselves, or the enemy, we will never feel successful as parents. But if we find out who we are from Him, this will strengthen us on the “bad” parenting days when it looks like everything is going crazy and our home is filled with chaos.
The Plumb Line
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else. (Gal. 6:4 NIV)
How do we measure ourselves?
If we compare ourselves with other parents, we won’t be able to live in Jesus’ peace. In all likelihood, we will feel like we can’t measure up to these “great men and women of God” who seem just fantastic in our eyes.
But we don’t know what their inner world really is like. We don’t see what they are concealing, or having to cope with, so of course they seem better than we are. If we were able to look into their personal life, we would probably be amazed at how normal they are. Every parent has struggles, even if they seem like they don’t.
Comparing ourselves with somebody else produces pain. But if our plumb line is God’s ways and who He says we are, that is a game changer. How do we discover His ways and find out what He is saying? By reading His Word and building such a relationship with Him that we can hear Him for ourselves.
We always need to get our understanding of who we are from Him, not allowing the world or the enemy to tell us who we are.
Putting God First
When I was a much younger parent, I read the verse in Matthew where Jesus talks about loving your father and mother more than you love Him.
The Lord suddenly spoke to my spirit: “You love your children more than you love Me.”
Those words hit my heart so strongly that I started weeping. I told Him, “But I don’t know how to do it any differently. Will You show me how to love You more than I love my children?”
When we put our children above the Lord in our heart, we apply pressure to them that they will be able to feel. But that pressure lifts when our heart says, “Lord, I love You more, because I know how much You love them. I know You’re going to guide me in becoming the parent I need to be for them.”
Putting God first in our heart is a parent’s power move. We can’t be the Holy Spirit to our kids, telling them what to believe and constantly trying to keep them from pain. No matter how mature we are or how hard we try, one day our children will have to go discover what they believe for themselves. As parents, our job is not to keep them from making mistakes along the way. It is to guide them, mold them, and build an atmosphere in our home where they can see who God is.
Our devotional life is so important in this process. We need Jesus. When our kids see us spending time with Him, they will be able to “catch” their own relationship with Him, even at a young age.
For more on this topic, check out the following books:
4 comments
This was such a well-written and insightful piece. I’ve never heard it explained like this but felt the Holy Spirit was saying something similar recently to me as well. Thank you for this!
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Elijah House:
That’s wonderful! We’re glad the article touched your heart.
Very good, covers all the objections!
Thank you so much this is so informative
Elijah House is amazing I just finished the course I’m healing big tima
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Elijah House:
That’s wonderful to hear!
Amen Praise the Lord Blessings